Happy One Month (or not)

Can I believe it? It has been a whole month since these problems have arised. One whole month of feeling like this. A whole month since I've started blogging. A whole month of nonstop thinking. A whole month of sleeping at the earliest, at 12:45 AM. I'm really killing my body.

How have I survived? I've finally found something that hurts more than love; friends.

I now know my greatest weakness; I care too much. For the things I love, the things I cherish, I care too much. Sometimes things are better left...uncared for. But I'm just not the type of person to idle around and hope things work out. I like to take action and try. 

One of the things I dislike the most are blunt messages. They irritate the hell out of me because it shows that the other person just doesn't want to talk. At times I try to talk to someone because I'm trying to make things better. But what I dislike is how at times the other person keeps continung to be blunt; yet they don't attempt to resolve anything. I'm supposed to solve everything somehow, without a clue.

Awkwardness. The most dreaded word possible when it's used to describe a relationship with someone. It's quite simple on how to solve awkwardness. It's simple to find the cause for this awakwardness. It's very simple to stop it. And here's the reason:

It's only awkward if either you or the other person makes it awkward. If neither of you think about it, then it simply won't be awkward.

I hate having regrets. I told myself when I made that decision, I would never have any regrets. Now that I look back, unfortunately, I regret it. And I'm sorry because I compared you to something that was not there. Even after making the choice to let go, I still regret what I did after. Before I felt as if I put every ounce of effort into making something work. Once again, now that I look back, I could have done so much more. Which do I regret? Probably not the latter one because the first one could have been so much more.

Well, this is quite a long blog! It's 1:03 and I should probably be going to sleep. And for this blog's lyrics of the day, from Scars by Papa Roach: Ah these lyrics really opened up to me.

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Father, father, father, help us.

Send some guidance from above.

Cause people got me, got me questioning.

Where is the hope?