Well, there's a time for giving up.

I find that one of the hardest to do is wanting to give up on a goal or something.

Sometimes I feel so discouraged, like all hope is lost and I just want to completely give up what I've been striving for. It's like a feeling of disparity when you realize perhaps all hope is really gone.

I realize that I really hard for a lot of things but all my effort seems futile. Maybe a month later or something I just realize maybe this is stupid. There's no reason to continue trying if I'm going to fail anyways. Things like that get me really down. It's stupid, I know.

But then I think and think, and I see that honestly, I still have a slim glimmer of hope. I wonder if I should keep trying, I mean, miracles do happen. Then, I realize that I haven't done what I promised to do when I began on this "journey". And the last thing I want to do is to disappoint myself again.

But no, I think to myself I should just get over this. It's stupid, pointless, and most importantly hopeless. So I decide, I'm giving up. There's always a time for giving up.

Who am I kidding?

I know myself too well, even IF I tell myself that I'm done, completely given up on something, I won't stop pursuing it. I'll continue to put effort and think about it. That's just simply my weakness, I can't put closure on anything I really should. It's as if I need a complete rejection to my face, saying NO, you've failed. Then, perhaps, I can move on.

What makes everything harder is the fact that I know I try my heart out for the things I want. I give it my everything, i sacrifice whatever, and go through anything it takes as an attempt to reach my goal. And just thinking about all of that, and giving it all up? It's not a great thought.

And you know what really sucks? To realize that perhaps you're not as important to someone you as you thought you might have been. That maybe you were just there, but at the same time, a ghost. And they don't remember a single thing about you, or they simply just don't care.

Today's lyrics are from You and Me by Lifehouse

One of the things that I want to say, just aren't coming out right

I'm tripping in words, you got head spinning

I don't know where to go from here